


Gift of Life with a Heavy Price

by Arya_Durin_51



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is doing his best, Angst, Death in Childbirth, Eventual Happiness, F/M, single dad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-04-22 07:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14303499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arya_Durin_51/pseuds/Arya_Durin_51
Summary: What would have happened if Eliza died giving birth to her second daughter? How would the Hamilton's cope with the death of their matriarch?





	1. Chapter 1

 

* * *

 

 

 

Alexander Hamilton was a father. For the seventh time, but it didn't matter. It was one more precious child for him to adore.

"It's a girl!" Angelica had shouted over the baby's cries. He turned to his tired and beautiful wife.

"Hear that Betsey? It's a girl!" He said and turned to kiss her. Only then did he notice her hand had gone slack after her iron grip during her labour. She was more tired than the other times.

"Bring her here." She whispered, her voice hoarse from screaming.

Angelica gave the babe to her brother-in-law who passed her to his wife with a smile. She held her daughter to her chest and kissed her brow. Eliza felt her husband's lips on her head. 

"I love you." She said and turned her head to kiss him.

"I love you too." He said and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. They broke apart, she smiled and passed the baby to him. Then she closed her eyes.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"What should we name her?" Asked Alexander. He didn't receive an answer.

"Betsey?" He turned to his wife. She was asleep.

"No." He whispered. This was _not_ happening.

"Alexander?" It was Angelica. He gave her the baby and stood on his knees on the mattress.

"Betsey?" He asked in a broken voice, sounding like a lost child. He took her hand; it was clammy and cold in his warm one. His mother's skin had been like that when he woke up in her arms, only to find out she was dead.

"This isn't happening. Betsey, wake up, come on!" He was shaking her shoulders as the world became a blur from his tears.

He thought he heard Angelica speak. Then a scream. Turned out it was he who screamed. And he kept screaming and crying while cradling his wife's limp body in his arms.

When his voice turned hoarse, and all he could do was weep, he pressed his lips on her hair and rocked her back and forth. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Alexander came out of the room, he was faced with his three eldest children.

"We put the little ones to sleep. They wanted to see mama, but we told them she was very tired." said Angie. 'She's fifteen. Oh God, she's still a child.'

"Mama's dead, isn't she?" Asked Alex. Alexander lowered his head and closed his eyes. That was confirmation enough. He opened his arms and all three of them barred in. He held them tight, as if letting them go would mean they would join their mother.

"I'm not going anywhere, I swear." He said, knowing what they we most likely thinking. Eliza was his soulmate, he was not complete without her. But for his children, he would keep going. To make her proud.

"What should we name her? The baby, I mean." Philip asked.

"Elizabeth." Said Alexander.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The day of Eliza's funeral was officially the worst day of Alexander's life. Not only did he have to explain to his children that their mama was not coming back, but he would also have to face his in-laws.

The day on the outside was beautiful. It was early summer, the Sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the temperature just right. Alexander wished for a moment it had been raining, so the weather would match his insides. 

As they proceeded to cemetery of Trinity Church, Philip leaned closer to him and whispered:

"Mom would love it today. I think it's a good thing the day matches her. Don't you think?"

He turned to his boy and smiled.

"You're right Philip. She would." He said.

As they stood in front of what would soon be his Betsey's grave, he could feel the eyes of every single Schuyler on him. As they lowered the casket, he could hear the sobs of his mother-in-law. He hugged little Will, who was on his hip, tighter and kissed his mop of curls. He knew what came next.

He went forward, took a fistful of dirt and let it fall on the casket. His children followed. His sisters-in-law, their husbands, their children, their parents, their entire family. On that day he could not be more grateful for Burr, his daughter, and Martha Washington.

Despite losing her husband a few months prior to Eliza's death, she travelled there to see him.

"How are you dear one?" She asked him and cuppedhis cheeks.

"I'm coping." He answered.

"If you ever need anything, do not hesitate to call upon me. Alright?" She asked and he nodded. She then went to stand next to Angelica, who was holding little Liza on her arms.

Burr came next. He laid a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Hamilton." He said. His daughter only looked at him and then went to stand next to Philip.

"For the first time, we're the same. I just wish it was not under such circumstances." Said Alexander and Burr nodded before moving to stand little ways away from him. Burr's daughter was still talking with his son. They were they same age after all. And they understood each other then.

"Alexander." It was a Schuyler uncle the name of who he did not remember.

"Sir?"

"Philip and Catherine are grief-striken right now and cannot talk to you, but we spoke with them last night and we came to the decision that it will be best for the children to move to Albany with their grandparents. They could visit you on occasion, and you can come to visit as well-"

"Excuse me." Alexander said in a tight voice that Burr knew all too well meant trouble. "What makes you think you know what is best for  _my_ children?"

"You see-"

"If you think that the Reynolds Affair has hindered my parenting abilities, you are sorely mistaken.  _My_   _children will remain with me._ Is that all?" The man didn't answer. He had obviously forgotten who was the man in front of him.

"You know we can move another way, right?" He said after a few seconds. "We have enough money to hire the best lawyers in the States-"

"Need I remind you I am one of them? And I doubt Mister Burr here will agree to what you propose, neither will Mister Madison, is that not the case Mister Burr?" He turned to Burr.

"That is indeed, my friend."

"According to the Constitution-"

"Which I was a writer of; sir, please stop this. I just buried my wife and I have seven children to take care of. Leave me be." He turned to his second son. "Alex, can you please find our carriage drivers?"

"Yes father." Said the boy and departed.

"Come on children, we are leaving. Go say goodbye to your grandparents." He said. The man turned and left. Philip took William from his father's arms, and as the children left, Aaron and Martha approached.

"He could not find a better place and time." Murmured Aaron.

"Are you alright, dear?"

"You have no idea how much self-control I needed not to punch him in the face. Or at least to start yelling at him that Eliza would want them to stay with me."

"I was surprised. Truly." Said Burr.

"Thank you, by the way. For backing me up."

"Of course I would be on your side. I had the same thing happen to me. They thought I could not raise Theodosia on my own. Yet here she is, all grown up, and with a great education."

"Indeed." Alexander saw his children approaching, Alex with them. "And now I take my leave." He said, and bowed to kiss Martha's hand, and then Theodosia's. Philip followed his lead, after passing his baby brother to him again.

They would live on. For Liza and Eliza, they would live on.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to make it clear that this story consists mostly of snippets in the life of the Hamilton's after the death of Eliza, all the way to the War of 1812 and maybe later. Each chapter is set some months after the one coming before it, As the story progresses, it will center more on little Liza.


	2. The Year After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander comes faced with the difficulties of being a single father of 7 children. When he realises he must collect his military pay, an old enemy becomes a friend over being a widower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.  
> Guys, you have no idea how sorry I am for not posting sooner, while being active with my other stories. There are no excuses, and I swear to you, the next chapter will be here before the Holidays at most.  
> A big thank you to all the people who left a comment - I appreciate you more than you can imagine - and to my dear friend @falanuhlaalu from Tumblr who is also a real life friend from college who guilt-tripped me into finally writing this.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Without Eliza, life was hard. Eliza was a pillar of strength for Alexander, a confidant, someone he thought he'd share his whole life with. Secretly he had hoped to die before her, because she was strong enough to survive without him. It had been so many years, that he had grown unused to and forgotten what life without her.

Their bed now seemed too cold - because it would always be _theirs_ , never his alone - and the seat at the other head of the table being empty made his heart ache. Her armchair by the fire, where she used to sit and read a book, or have a hot chocolate with him while overseeing the playing children, was still in its place, and all were forbidden to sit on it. He had kept all of her dresses in their hangers as well, and took a look at them every morning after he woke up and every evening before he went to bed.

In other words, Alexander suffered from melancholy, that would have made him catatonic and suicidal had it not been for his children.

 

* * *

 

Now, only five months after the birth of his daughter and the death of his wife, his debt was catching up. He had come up with many candidates to watch over his younger children without great expense, but nothing came of it. He had even made a list!

_Lucy: works here, but is only nineteen years old, thus too young and inexperienced to take proper care of a baby, a toddler, two young children and two teenagers._

_Angie: still a child herself at sixteen, and cannot take proper care for her younger siblings without abandoning her studies, which is not happening._

_Philip: continues his own studies at King's College, away from home, can only help during the Holidays, mostly at the expense of his studies._

_Peggy: close, more than willing to help, only one child, but declining health, doctor's orders are rest, not 6 crazy Hamilton's._

_Angelica: six children of her own._

_Catherine: newlywed._

_Cornelia: eighteen years old, not old enough to raise children._

All in all, Alexander was alone. There was no way in hell he would send his children to Albany, not after what happened at the funeral. He might have considered it, but now, not even the children wanted to. He would not move to the Grange either, not without Eliza by his side.

So, he had to find a way to balance his practice and the upbringing of his children. So far, he worked long hours into the night, and had even bought a second crib and placed it in his office; everything to be there for his little one and make Eliza proud. Much later, Alexander would admit that keeping up with General Washington's foul temper over the state of the Army in Valley Forge was easier than the first year without his wife.

On one of those evenings, Alexander was working on one of those cases that kept him up all night, his little girl started wailing. He ran to her crib, knocking over his chair in the process, and picked her up. He had already fed her, and she didn't need a change yet.

"You're missing you mama, aren't you love? I miss her too." He said and rocked her while walking around the room. Now that she could hold her head upright on her, she always rested not on the crook of his arm, but against his chest, with her head on his shoulder. That was also a perfect place for her to grab at his hair, something that brought her great delight most of the time. At that moment, it made her wails subside, yet she kept whining.

That's when Alexander began singing an old lullaby, the memory of its singer's face existing in his mind like dying embers from a dream He could not remember. The words were in French, and he felt tears come to his eyes as he sang. Liza fell asleep, and after he stopped singing, he started walking upstairs. He needed to sleep. Tomorrow, he had to talk to a government official. It was time he received his payment for his public service, from his enlistment in the Revolutionary War to the end of the Quasi War. All that, and with his payment from that particular case, and he would be debt-free with some to spare.

 

* * *

 

 As if someone had been eavesdropping on his thoughts, that very morning, Vice President Thomas Jefferson knocked on his front door.

"Hamilton."

"Mister Vice President... please, come in." Alexander said through gritted teeth, and led him to the parlour. "May I ask-"

'Papa! Papa!" Angie shouted as she came running in the parlour. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Jefferson.

"Mister Vice President!" She said with a smile. Last time she saw him, she was still calling him 'uncle Jeffy'.

"Miss Hamilton. What a pleasure to see you, after so many years!" He smiled at her and kissed her hand.

"Would you liek some tea, sir?"

"Why, thank you, I would; very much so." He answered and she left the room.

"Miss being called uncle Jeffy?" Said Hamilton with a smirk as they sat on the two couches opposite of each other.

"A little bit, I won't lie. But I didn't come here to be reminded how old I am. I came here to talk about your payment."

"My payment?"

"Yes, your payment. Both for your military and political service."

"I didn't know you concerned yourself with the payment of soldiers. Doesn't your position have to do with more pressing matters than that?"

"Hamilton, listen. We don't like each other, and that's common knowledge." He turned sombre, suddenly, and his smirk fell. "But I would never wish what happened to you upon anyone."

"Jefferson-"

"I am very sorry for your loss, Hamilton. You didn't see me, but I was at the funeral. I wanted to talk to you, but then I saw what happened, and I knew that the last person you needed to see was me. I know that there is nothing I can say that will make you feel any better. Because nothing but your children ever will. Neither if she dies unexpectedly like yours nor slowly and painfully like mine.

"You still lost that one person, whom you loved above all else. The one who loved you when no one else did. Who changed your life, and gave birth to your children." He looked at his hands on his lap, and Angie walked into the room.

"Here's your tea!" She said cheerfully as she walked into the room. Yet her smile turned from happy to melancholic when she took a good look at their faces. After she set the tray on the low table and served the tea, she kissed her father's cheek.

"I hope you still drink your tea with two sugar cubes, uncle Jeffy." She said sweetly and bent to kiss his cheek as well, before she left the room.

"She is very sweet."

"She always was."

"Yes, but I mean despite of what happened. My Patsy turned bitter after the death of her mother."

"It has not been easy, believe me. We have had countless fights since Philip went back to college. Especially during the first month of his absence."

"At least she talked to you. Mary refused to talk to me for four months."

"How are they now?

"Good. Better than they were, for sure. But then again, it's been a decade since we lost Martha." He said and smiled sadly. How are your son's studies? King's College, like you?"

"Yes, though his won't be interrupted by any wars, I hope. His studies are going wonderfully. He'll be a lawyer, and take all the clients after I retire." Alexander smiled proudly.

"Hamilton, I've been having thoughts about King's College as of late."

"What about it? It's one of the best, along Yale, Princeton and Harvard."

"Yes, but don't you see? It's the King's College. And I have it on good authority that we no longer have a King."

"You're right. Even though I would deny that even under oath." Alexander drank some of his tea. "How does Columbia sound? Like D.C.."

"And here I thought I'd never agree with you on anything." He smiled at his old rival and sipped at his tea.

"Well, neither did I." Alexander answered.

Thomas drank the last of his tea and stood up. "The tea was wonderful. And I promise you, I will make sure you receive at least half of what you're owed by the end of this month."

"Jefferson, really-" Hamilton followed him to the door.

"You don't have plantations to feed you Hamilton; only your practice. For your service to this country, it's the least I can do. I may have wrote the Declaration, but you did write the Constitution."

"Not all of it."

"No. But you made sure we had it. After you risked your life fighting for this country." He opened the door. "Give my regards to Miss Angelica, your sons and young Miss..." he hesitated. 

"Eliza. After her mother."

"Of course. Fare well, Hamilton." He crossed the threshold.

"You too, Jefferson." Alexander said and closed the door. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for Uncle Jeffy came from a Thomgelica fanfiction I read last year, in which he has a tea party with Angie while waiting for her Aunt Angelica. I don't remember its name, just what happened.  
> I would like to make it clear that this story consists mostly of snippets in the life of the Hamilton's after the death of Eliza, all the way to the War of 1812 and maybe later. Each chapter is set some months after the one coming before it, As the story progresses, it will center more on little Liza.


	3. It's grandmama!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine Schuyler pays her son-in-law a visit while Martha Washington is in the City. The first lost one child, but the latter four, and she's not about to abandon the man she and her husband considered a son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time I have an actual excuse: I was out of town and looking for my own apartment to rent while I'm in college! Needless to say I am sorry and that I will try my best to actually post the following chapters. All your comments drove me to finally sit down and finally copy it from my notebook.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Alexander had just put his ten-month-old daughter to bed and was enjoying some tea while waiting for his daughter and second son to return when someone knocked on his door. When he opened the door though, the war veteran almost shat himself.

“Alexander,”the woman said with a cold look.

“Catherine!” he moved to the side and opened the door wider for her to walk in without her skirts catching anywhere. “Please, come on in!” he said in a rush with a forced smile. She did just that and swiftly made her way towards the parlor.

He followed after her, as she walked through the corridor and entered the spacious room, She sat in one of the two armchairs next to the cold fireplace – that was his Betsey’s armchair, nobody sat there – with a look that would scare most of his commanding officers in the Revolutionary War.

“Would you like some tea?”

“No; sit.” He obeyed. She nodded approvingly. “Alexander, I came here to–“

“Grandmama!” It was John that shouted, and came running into the parlor. He wasted no time running into her arms and hugging her tightly.

“Oh dear! How are you, my darling boy ?”she said with a smile and placed him in her lap to hug properly.

“I am well,” he answεred, but soon enough his smile fell, “I miss mama.”

“We all do.”

“Grandmama!”And that would be John and Will, who run to hug here as well.

“Look at you, my darlings! Oh how you’ve grown, since last I saw you!” she said excitedly. She hadn’t seen them since the funeral, but unlike Peggy and Angelica, none of the Schuyler’s visited often. The youngest Schuyler Sisters did, as the distance allowed, but his three brothers-in-law never bothered to come after the first time.  So, when she shot Alexander a meaningful look, he only glared. “Where are Alexander and Angelica?” she asked.

“Alex and Angie went Midtown with Missus Washington,” Alexander answered.

James quickly assessed the situation, and took a hand of each younger brother. “Come on, Papa and Grandmama have to talk about gown-up things.” He said and left the room, his father shooting him a grateful look on his way out.

Catherine’s smile started fading the moment James closed the door, and fell completely when she turned her gaze back to Alexander. “As I was saying, I came here to talk to you about-“

“Let me guess, the children,” he deadpanned.

“Why yes, _my grandchildren_ , that I have not seen in almost a year,” she shot back.

“I never stopped you from seeing them. All your daughters visit, Angelica and Peggy for the most part,” he said coolly.

“What you said to Richard at the funeral-“

“What _I_ said? Not what he – no – _you,_ suggested?” He rose to his feet. “I have held great respect and love for you and your husband over the years. I still do. You knew of my humble beginnings, yet accepted me as the husband of your daughter and part of your family. For that, I will be forever greatful.

 “So you cannot imagine how betrayed I felt when Richard came to me and told me in no uncertain terms that it had been decided that you would take the children, _my children_ , away from me. My wife had just been taken away from me, and you sought to rob me of my children as well? And you honestly didn’t expect that I would fight back?” He barely held his voice below a shout, not wanting to alert the boys or wake up Liza.

“Alexander, be reasonable!” She stood up from the armchair as well. “You cannot do this alone! You are unable to provide for them to the full extent of your abilities! They could live a life full of the greatest comforts with us in the Pastures!”

“You knew I could never provide that! Not to her, not to them!” He pointed an accusatory finger at her. “Do I wish I could? Of course, every damn day! But I cannot, and I have to live with that. But I am thankful too. Because I had to make do with nothing.”

“Yes, but-“                     

“But what? What are your objections?” He sat back down heavily. “I know you’re mourning. I know what I feel for the child Betsey and I lost is nothing compared to what you feel about losing her… but I am mourning too. I am hurting too, more than you know. That night, I felt as if the world had ended.

“Put all the blame on me, I will take it, I do it myself already. I love Eliza, and I don’t plan on remarrying, if that’s what you’re worried about. No woman will ever take her place, not in this house, not in my life, not in my heart.” She sat down too, but didn’t interrupt him once. He rubbed his hands over his face.

“I lost my mother too, as you know. I was only twelve, almost as old as Alex. And the pain I felt knowing my father was alive and living more than likely in luxury while my brother and I starved... I don’t want my children to feel this way. So please, let us never speak of this again.” He sighed tiredly, and just then the front door opened.

“Papa. Papa! Look what Nana bought me!” Alex ran into the parlor to show his father, only to find his actual grandmother sitting in his mother’s armchair – no one was allowed to sit there, damn it – with an angry look. “Grandmother,” he said. He flashed her a smile, well-practiced and completely fake. He had seen his father do it enough times. He set whatever it was that Martha had gifted him on the table and went to hug her and kiss her cheek.

“How are you, dearie?” She asked and cupped his cheeks.

“I am well, thank you for asking,” he said coldly. Alex may have been only thirteen, but he had seen how distressed his father had been over the prospect of being parted from his children. And under no circumstances did he want to be parted from his father either.       

Angelica walked in next. “Grandmother, what a pleasant surprise! Father did not tell us you would be visiting. Neither did Aunt Peggy.” It was a fact that Angie was the most tactful of all his children. Alexander desperately wished she could be a lawyer, because he knew for a fact she would do a better job with her poker face than Pip would with his impulsiveness or Alex with his stubbornness. He knew she was extremely angry at her grandparents, but never let it show while she warmly greeted her grandmother like the lady of the house should.

“That’s because they didn’t know I would be visiting, my dear.” Catherine seemed pleased with her granddaughter’s manners. She would have commented on them had it not be for the fifth person entering the room.

“Catherine.” Alexander heard a voice as cold as the snow in Valley Forge say from behind him. Now, Alexander had a healthy amount of fear of certain people. His wife, Angelica, Peggy, his mother-in-law, the General when he was pissed at him (Alexander sometimes forgot the General was no longer alive, just like with his wife). But Martha Washington… he was absolutely sure the General feared and loved her in equal measure. infinitely. So it was only wise that he feared her too, like all of the General’s young protégés. And if the General had the entirety of the camp quivering in their boots with a frown, Lady Washington had officers drop to their knees with a raised eyebrow.

“Martha,” she answered. The two women had had an excellent relationship over the years, as Martha saw herself as Alexander’s mother figure. The friendship George and Philip shared only helped the ties between them to become stronger. So the young Hamilton’s – even though Alexander would deny his happiness over it under oath – had two sets of grandparents, one Upstate and one in the South. What happened at the funeral had changed everything.

“Alex, why don’t you show us what you got today,” she said with a smile.

“The Three Musketeers!” the boy said excitedly. He grabbed the large tome from the table and stood in front of his father to show him.

“A very good book! An excellent choice, by all means,” Alexander said approvingly.

“What about you, Angelica? Any new dresses?” asked Catherine.

“No, I got the Encyclopedia. In French! And some more Plato.”

“Did you now?”

“Catherine, I know you’re gifting her her education, but I simply wished to gift her with something she didn’t already own. Whether I gifted her a dress-“

“Or five,” Alex whispered to his father.

“-is completely irrelevant.” She looked at the clock and gasped. “Oh dear, I should have left already!”

“Why? Stay with us for dinner!”said Alexander.

“I was planning on leaving today…” her argument died very fast at the look all the Hamilton’s gave her.

“I will stay, but only to greet the darlings. I promised Benjamin and Mary to visit them today,” she said.

“Alright. Angie, please come and get your sister while I fetch the-“

“Nana!” a young boy – Johnny most likely – screamed. Thundering footsteps and squeals of joy signal signaled the arrival of the boys.

It was indeed Johnny, and he almost jumped on Martha, but his father caught him midair.

“Now my son, you know you cannot do that. You’re getting heavy, even for me.” He said disapprovingly, and held him tightly to his chest. The boy pouted, but Martha only laughed and kissed his brow. But as the elder Alexander was holding his fifth child and the younger Alexander was laughing on the couch, young William managed to jump towards Martha. Sure, he didn’t reach her per say, but he caught her attention. She bent down and picked him up.

“My darlin’!” she laughed and the toddler giggled as she planted kisses all over his chubby face. When she saw James coming her way, she bent down to kiss the crown of his head.

 

* * *

 

When Angie reentered the parlor holding her now awake baby sister, she was met with a most beautiful scene. In Martha’s face you could see all the happiness she felt for being with the people she considered family.

“And here we are!” Angie said happily as she walked in with Liza balanced at her hip. Catherine gasped audibly. Martha only cooed and caressed the baby’s cheeks affectionately.

“She looks like Eliza. Exactly like Eliza did,” she said and stood up. She extended her arms, but Angie gave her the baby only after her father nodded his approval. Catherine held the child tightly in her arms.

“You don’t have to miss anything else,” was all that Alexander said.

“I don’t plan too. Summer in Mount Vernon or the Pastures?” she asked.

“We’ll see. Nothing stops us from going to both.” He answered with a smirk.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to make it clear that this story consists mostly of snippets in the life of the Hamilton's after the death of Eliza, all the way to the War of 1812 and maybe later. Each chapter is set some months after the one coming before it, As the story progresses, it will center more on little Liza.


End file.
